View from the right seat

  Jeneal McKinleyAug 21, 2016  

So you pilot types that don’t always have to fly the “big box stores in the sky”, miss out on the little things in life. Like after settling down into your seat, and getting the flight attendants approval that you have indeed fastened your seat belt correctly, learned where the nearest exits are and know that your seat can become a flotation device in case of emergency, are now ready to sit back and enjoy the ride.

It isn’t long until you’ve reached into the pocket of the seat in front of you and pulled out that magnificent full colored, slick paper magazine, that dreams are made of. You know the one. It’s jam packed full of things you never knew you wanted until you saw it listed and now you just have to have it.

Like the 25 pair shoe turn tower! It’s an elegant wooden tower with 5 levels to keep your shoes off the floor! Great invention! I happen to have a closet for those things though, but with a furniture quality birch veneer and a rich walnut stain, maybe I should invest in a $249.95 Shoe Tower!

Oh, no wait! There’s more! How about a Weed Killing Steamer for $249.95! Never knew steam killed weeds! See it’s educational too!

Or how about the remote controlled Giant Tarantula for $29.95? That would go well with the 2 story inflatable black cat for $199.95. How can I say no to that! The head sways from side to side and has illuminated piercing red eyes! That should guarantee no trick or treaters this year. Gotta have one of those.

Oh here ya go. As someone who has suffered from Planter Fasciitis I NEED these socks! ¬†After all they are light weight and have an adjustable hook and loop strap that gently pulls your toes towards your knee while you sleep. They allow your skin to breath and they fit either foot! How cool is that?! But as some one who sleeps on their tummy, I’m afraid I would be sleeping on my tippy toes all night with my heels stuck in the air imitating little tents that would only encourage my cat to pounce upon them every time I moved.

Ok, so maybe not, but there is an 8 foot inflatable Elsa, that my 3 year old grand daughter would love! She is the cryokinetically gifted princess from Frozen, resplendent in a flowing blue gown, lit from within highlighting the snowflake pattern on her gossamer train that captures the ambient glow of a snow covered yard. So gotta have that one and at $149.95 it’s a steal!

“Would you like something to drink?” I hear the flight attendant ask.

“Why yes.” I answer and promptly close the magazine and store it away for the next passenger to dream and fantasize about. Who knows. Maybe he really does need a genuine fake walnut shoe turn tower!